Wednesday, September 13, 2006

so routine

Wow, I'm so boring now.

Transaction #1294

[Guy walks up to me}
Guy: To answer your questions... YES, NO and NO!



Guy: You know. The 3 things you're going to ask me.

Frank: So... how was your day, sir?

Guy: That's not what your supposed to ask me.

Frank: What am I supposed to say?

Guy: You're supposed to ask me if I found everything.

Frank: Seeing that you're going to buy obscure boating magazines, I'm sure you have all we have... you werido.

[Not exactly what I really said, but I was thinking it]

Frank: so... just curious... what are the other questions I was going to ask you o' wise one?

Guy: Then you were going to ask me if I had My Borders Reward Card... then if I wanted one.

[OMG, you're psychic! There are literally hundreds of specially marketed promotions of Borders Rewards all over the freakin' store! And you just knew I was going to ask you if you had the most visable item. Geez, do you tell the McDonalds people that you don't want fries with that too?]

Frank: uh huh.

Frank: Well, do you know all about our Corporate Group Plan? Let me just call our representative. She will tell you ALL about this program. It's super neat. This will just take a moment.

[I proceeded to ignore him for a while, then I actually called the rep. The whole transaction took at way longer than it should.]

Don't mess with Frank! He will mock you and call it apple sauce.

Transaction #3340

[Guy comes up to me. I know him. He comes here all the time. Always grumpy. Rude. And acts as if the whole world must revolve around him. He takes his sweet time, but when he's ready to go, it's time to go. The WORLD must cater to his "IgottaGO" mentality. Anyways, I hate him. Why must he come always when I'm working.]

Before I even get into my "Did you find everything" banter, he grabs his cell phone and wonders off. Like that's going to stop me. I just casually stand there, waiting for him to get off. Don't you hate it when people are on the phone?! Geez. If you don't like human interaction, go to Amazon!!
Anyways he finally realizes that his plan isn't working, so he goes up and says that he's ready.
I start up. Damn him. Curses.
And just when I feel totally defeated, his cell rings.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I needed a good laugh. Do you think he hear me?

LESSON OF THE DAY: If you are going to shop at a huge corporation, expect some unwanted solicitations.

posted at 11:10 PM | 0 comments


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