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Saturday, October 29, 2005

about me.

If you are a long-time reader of my blog AND know me, you know how I usually write on this blog. I'm usually very impulsive when it comes to posting. And I think that when I do post impulsively, it's just all me... raw and honest. So yeah... this is one of those posts.

Here are some things you might/might not know about me personally:

  • Family: My family always comes first in my mind. They come before my own needs. I am very traditional in that aspect of my life. My mom calls me at my dorm at 3 o'clock on a Monday morning with an important problem, she has my full attention/support/ and anything else she needs from me to help her solve that problem. My brother gets in trouble with the law... I blame law policies. My grandfather calls me to tell me that he's coming for my High School graduation, I skip all the fun after-graduation parties just to spend some time with him. And when my sister finally came back to live with my mom after just running from an abusive relationship, I stay with both of them for as long as they needed me.


  • Friendships/Relationships: When you become my friend... really become friends, not just aquantinces... you are almost a family member in my eyes. Ties cannot be severed quickly even if I wanted them to be. When you are my friend, I give you a part of myself that I cannot give back. And just how much I give you, is directly correlated to how much you mean to me... and if you hurt me, it hurts that much too. I don't like to give too much of myself to anyone that has hurt me before. My actual family has never really hurt me ever. But I would imagine it being like a great friend hurting me since I do put them into the same catagory sometimes.


  • Younger Me: When I was younger, I was a loner. Very introspective. I could go forever without needing anyone else. I didn't need to tell anyone about who I was and what I believed.


  • Older Me: Prefers relationships. Is more honest about what he wants. Trusts people more, but it is when that trust is broken that he goes back to his younger self again. It is the safest place to be. Eventually he will reappear, but it takes time to regain the confidence that he lost.


I am often conflicted with my older and younger cognitions when my hierarchial view on family/friends is in contrast with situational experience.

No one can fully understand another person's views/values, only accept them as such.

It is when you accept them, that you are not in discord with them.

Accept the fact that everyone has their own methodology of having relationships and coping with them. Whether it be culturally, socially, or personally centered.

[If I haven't accepted yours yet, I'm sorry for not doing so.]



posted at 3:39 AM | 0 comments


Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Pumpkin Party 2005, bitches.

here are just some pics from the party. They speak for themselves.

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posted at 11:34 PM | 4 comments


my emotional shelf

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I made this promise to myself that I was going to start "being" again. Whatever that entails. I feel like for a long time now, I've just been making myself do, feel and act a certain way. And it gets hard for me to mantain this. Not because these things aren't true. I hadn't been fake to myself. It is because I'm not used to having to deal with this part of me before. I've learn much about myself as of lately. And it's not like scared or thilled about this, it's just that I believe that I've finally [if not almost finally] have a vast acceptance of this part of me. Therefore, I can now put it back on the shelf that is my personal disposition, metaphorically speaking. I am now more comfortable [not totally] taking this part of me down from the shelf and feeling/using it again if it comes to that. So... now that everything is in place on my shelf [I really didn't mean to make this post about an imaginary shelf, seriously! heh.] I can get back to being more stable.

So now to talk about new things happening in the Frank according to the world. [Strike that, reverse it][nevermind, it sounds cooler] Oh man, so many things have happened to the Frank lately. And since I'm not focusing on the stuff on the high shelf anymore, I'll tell you guys about the stuff within my reach at the moment.

I've joined a community band. yeah, I know what you guys are thinking. Community band?! Whaa the fuuuuuu... I just decided that the easiest thing for me to do [playing in the Mustang Alum Band] wasn't my only option. I guess I was in a mood for change and make my friends more diverse. But I do love SMU band. It would of been awesome to be there and have that comforting sense of belonging to the SMU band has always given me. And that's the thing. I need to go outside of my comfort zone. It's not like I feel like a whole new person or anything like that [re: cultural hoe]. I just feel more aware and appreciated of things I know and do not know. So I want to expose myself to more things that I wouldn't of done before. And at the same time keeping my feet grounded. So I chose this community band. It's a band so it's not like I'm jumping off a cliff, but with new people I do not know [except one, I know one person there and if you have to ask who it is... then you're just being mean! Stop! I'm not going to let one person ruin my newly found cultural whorisms. Okay, seriously... I'm done with my bad play on words. starting now]. Anyways, I just came back from my first rehearsal, and let's just say I haven't picked up my trumpet since I came back from Reno, NV for the WAC basketball tournament.

The band is small, but you can never tell actually how many people are really in the band. People come when they can. Everyone, on average, is like 20 years older than I am. I think this is a good thing for several reasons. One, I won't be distracted by romantic entanglements. For those of you who know about the dynamic of how band works, you know more of less about the inappropriateness of it all. Although, you never know with this group. One person was talking about how she was going to the Cayman Islands next weekend... I was thinking "Ooh?!... I wanna go! Whaa? you don't swing that way? Well... I can break out my 2003 Pigskin/Halloween Costume and we can roll out... I was pretty damn hot." [PS. If you do not know what costume I am referring to then too bad. You should of been there. Never going to happen to me again... well, unless you offer me a free trip to the Caymans. Then I'll be your real cultural bitch/hoe] Craziness.

When going into this, I was thinking about bringing the roommate for reinforcement, but I think I'm going to stick it out and start swimming in the deep end without floaties for once. Jason has stuck up with all my crazy insanities this whole time. So now that I can walk again... I'll kick his arse to the curb, hehe. I kid, I kid.

sighs... what else, what else. oh! Speaking of romantic entanglements. I have sort of fought with myself whether or not I was going to start up again. And I, at first, decided that I was going to just jump in head first and see how I would react. [seeing how I would react. Story of the last month of my life] And after a few awkward/creepy/confusing dates, I was going to call it quits. But then I realized that I just really need to just go with the flow, relax, and know that I don't need this... I just want it. Wants aren't important. They don't have to be these huge things I need to survive. Just doing it for fun's sake. After that process of thinking sunk in, I had alot more fun with dating since. And just an update of that... I have met one person that I sort of like. And seriously speaking, I wouldn't mind if we just ended up being good friends. It would be still awesome. Right now, I just have an enjoyable time with him. And isn't that what it's all about anyways?
I'm so glad I didn't lock myself in my room... for too long. heh.

One last thing, I've started exercising a bit. And I can't say it's the easiest thing I've done with this new outlook. And I really think that there's a direct correlation between me being happier lately and sweaty clothes I have to wash more oftenly. So, I suggest that everyone go out and do your laundry now! It's a mood booster!!
Ugh, my arms still hurt and I haven't done them in 3 days... is that bad? Anyways perhaps if I had better eating habits, I would actually lose some weight... but meh. Why give up food AND being lazy? I have to had at least one, right? [whispers: right]
I heard that!!

-frank confirmed-

**stay tuned for my next post about my [Jason's and I] awesome Pumpkin Party happening today at 7:30 [ reminder, kids]. I think I'm going to make a Candy Striped Jack o'Lantern. I'll have pics... I better remember.



posted at 6:16 AM | 0 comments


Wednesday, October 19, 2005

it's one of those days...

...where if I still had some rum, I would be downing it now. Whaa? Job?! Who cares!?
I'll go there completely plastered if I had the choice to do so. Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I'm freakin' out!!

I have not slept at all. It's now almost 9am. I'm not just having caffeine withdrawls. Or maybe it is just as simple as that. Ummm, desperately trying to think of a subject change...

AHH! You guys are always wondering what Frank does on the internet, here is your chance. Frank website picks!



posted at 8:52 AM | 0 comments


Monday, October 17, 2005

more subbing...

I love it! More jobs = more money!
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I'm in the money! I'm in the money!
Perhaps I can buy descent Xmas gifts for once. hehe. So Wednesday and next Wednesday I'm doing P.E. That should be fine bloggin' can't wait. Meanwhile, I just subbed for Pre-K. It wasn't bad at all (In Pre-K, there are TWO teachers.) I had it pretty easy. And I just realized something... There are actually reasons for some of the Pre-Kers bad behaviors!!! All the kids in preK that are usually bad afterschool, all get picked on during school!! Whoa! I kinda feel sorry for some of them. Anyways, I'm not making this post into a downer. Time for fun preK antics!!

So we were reading this story about a chamelean in some jungle or whatever. And it was at a party of the story where all the animals in the jungle came up to talk to the chamelean.. and the teacher goes "Why are they going to the chamelean, class?" and one kid yelled out "TO ATTACK HIM!"

Funny convo with kid.
Kid: Hey Mister Mejuano, Jaida mean!
Me oh yeah? Jaida, Why are you being mean?
Jaida: I'm not! He just hit me!
Me: Did you hit her?
Kid: yeah, but she's being mean.
Me: It's not nice to hit people, please tell her you are sorry.
Kid: But she's being mean to me!
Me: Well, in actuality, you are the one who seems like you're mean.
Kid: But she's being mean to me.
[after a few more rounds of this I give up]
Me: Jaida, tell him you're sorry.
[she apologized.]
I still stand by my "The easiest way out" methodology of teaching.

After we went outside for recess, this girl walked up to me. "A mesquito bit me" she said. "Oh!.. it doesn't look that bad. We're about to go inside anyways." I said. "They just want my blood!"
[It sounded alot more funnier with a tiny blonde haired girl with a slight speech impediment saying it. heh.

And Oh! They had nap time. I fell asleep at my desk. The other teacher had to nudge me back to consciousness to start doing busy work to keep me awake. ugh, I can't even hang with 4 year olds! In my defense though, the teacher did turn off the lights, turned on some lullaby symphany music and the airCon was like at 30 below zero at the time... so I couldn't help it! I'm weak!

ugh..... gym on wednesday... I should just make them run till they can't run no more.



posted at 5:57 PM | 2 comments


Friday, October 14, 2005

there should be a law... oh wait, there is!!

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I was coming home today later than usual. At work the boss was out and I was in charge. Then when it was time to go, I still had two stragglers. I stayed with them and earn a few bucks. Of course after I hauled ass to my bus, it had already left! damn.

So I waited and waited for the next one. I didn't understand why the next bus was so late. What gives?! Anyways, when it finally came I understood why. Fair freaks!

Somehow... the bus I usually ride home is like the offical "Go to the Fair before it closes!" bus. I was stuck with all the freaks. And that is saying alot compared to the normal people who ride. (It's like I'm the only cool person on, heh) Anyways, every seat was taken. Luckily I snatched up a seat next to the lady with 17 kids. Then perhaps the most surprising thing happened.

As the bus was loading at some random stop. The bus is still full and people are now starting to stand up in the back. A couple (with kids) start laughing loudly. Not too uncommon, right? And because I have the attention span of a Diet Coke can, I glance in the direction. The wife and I make eye contact just long enough for her husband to jokingly (I hope) and not subtley grap her boob.

At this point, I'm like AHHH! The wife is like AHHH! I slowly lower my head and pray for daylight. Almost missed my stop too.

DART rule number 3257: No PDA... especially on a filled bus!

INAPPROPRIATE!



posted at 11:42 PM | 1 comments


Wednesday, October 12, 2005

stupid parents.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comOkay so part of my job at the Catholic school I work at is to make sure all the parents pick up their neglected kids after we've done our "snack-gym-hw-fun" thing. Usually parents are good at remembering that they do in fact have kids and that they are not just going to walk their butts home like normal children. They might make a wrong turn and end up at the Gay-borhood. So thank the heavens that there is an afterschool program where they can leave their winy kids, whom I so wittingly nicknamed "The Oedipal."

Anyways, it's a living.

So every now and then we get the stragglers of the straggled. Oedipals that stay after... extended care. Oh man... so three hours isn't enough?! You parents have to take away my newly-started gym routine too?! Luckily, no shows were missed. Now there are 2 sisters left. And all the rest of my coworkers go charging to the door. It's only me and the boss. "I gotta go to a meeting." damn. Just me.

Here is how this extra, extended care works. Usually one day of the program is 5 bucks. Although some parents do not even understand this basic concept. "But I was only 10 minutes late?!" Yeah... 10 minutes late after we started. Need I remind you that we don't start till a quarter till. So technically, you're 25 minutes late! Sp just deal with the 5 bucks and learn from it. Sorry you can't add fries to your order next time. ARGH. yeah... so 6pm is the latest we stay. and if you're late it's a dollar a minute. Sound reasonable enough?

Back to the two sisters...
They stayed... and the time was flying by. Where the hell are their parents?! The girls call a parent. Apparently she is still at work. WHAT?!! BLAH!!!! "Can we just walk home?" one asked. And you have no idea how much I just wanted to say okay, whatever. But I'm moral and there are rules! Anyhow, I was pissed and wanted to get that money which was adding up at the time.

So long story short... She came 30 mins. late. Math time!

30mins x 1dollar x 2sisters = ca-ching!60

So the lady was all like I'll give you a check tommorrow. And I was like whatever... I know where your children go to school and I have access to their snack before I give it to them if anything goes wrong.
Tommorrow comes, no check... just cash.. and of course she's short 10 bucks.

WHAT THE HELL?!?!




but perhaps I'll just let it side since I'm so unpetty and non-neglectful.
Anyways, another day... another

OH YEAH! Those are the same girls that asked me to go upstairs and I told them that it wasn't allowed... then 3 seconds later asked to go to the restroom and went upstairs anyways....

wow... apple doesn't fall far from the tree. What a day.



posted at 10:00 PM | 0 comments


Sunday, October 09, 2005

umm.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Today I am a total wreck. I don't want to do anything. I'm completely exhausted. I would like to thank the following events that made this feeling possible:


  • Martini: Thank you Mister Vodka drink... you totally knocked me on my ass!

  • Megan: Ahh, Megan. Well... Megan drove me to the martinis. Thank you Megan. But it was also her driving that did it too. And does everyone know that she has a new car?! At least with her old one, she couldn't go that fast. Nearly lost my cookies a few times on that drive home.

  • TheSims: There outta be a law about playing the Sims drunk. It's kind of fun. I think I made everyone pee their pants at least twice. goodtimes.

  • Puking: That is just the thing. I didn't!! So the booze will be with me till it passes. ugh.

  • Awaking: yeah... I just got up. It's 3pm. This day is such a waste. At least I'm having a 4-day weekend though.



ugh... this would be a great time to have someone to console me. tear.



posted at 3:25 PM | 0 comments


Monday, October 03, 2005

substitute teaching.

My First day of being a substitute teacher, by frank m

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It was one of those normal early morning days, 6:15am. After another sleepless night, I stumbled out the door on my way to the Dart bus stop I take to work. Thinking about how fun and adventurous my first day of teaching will be. I was so excited and anxious at the same time. I mean, I know some of these kids already. Most of them have been to the afterschool/beforeschool thing I do anyways. This should be a breeze. Plus now, I'll have more authority and such.
I walked through the bird poop-filled sidewalk. Ugh, I can't stand this when it just rained the night before. It smells! But like going to the bus stop with the bright lights and people around... and not the one closes to be.. the one near the supposed crackhouse I live by. Bus comes on schedule. Good. I get on.
Just the normal crazies on the bus today. The smelly polo shirt guy at least has his zipper up today and didn't sit right next to me either. Goodtimes.
As I finally get to my work destination, I take a deep breath, straighten up my suit and tie, and unlock the door to the school I enter from. No ones here yet. Usually I come in on Mondays and Fridays to do the extended care thing for the early morning kids. Glad that the only thing I need to do is turn on lights in the cafeteria. Now to wait for the latchkey kids to come.
First kids come. They aren't wearing uniforms... interesting. They look at me crazy. Whats the deal, I say. They replied, it's spirit day... Tshirts and jeans! UGH! After that... a million kids come and ask me the same question "Are you going to a job interview?!"

Finally extended morning care is over. The boss said I could go to the parents meet-and-greet before my class started for some coffee and whatnot. I go. And Ms. A is there.
Now let me tell you something about her. She is mean... super mean...cruel even. And there she is.. being cheery! At first I don't say much, try not to make eye-contact. Perhaps it is a trick or some sort.
"HEY! FRANK!" she yells..in a welcoming way.
"huh... hi"
"Whatcha still doing here? Are you going to a job interview?" she says.
"huh.. no.. I'm subbing today for Mrs. Story"
"Isn't that the 6,7, & 8 Math/Religion teacher?" she questions.
"yeah... thats the one"
After that she sort of gives me a fake smile or something. I get nervous. Then she tells me Good Luck.

I'm on my way to my class... with coffee and a pastry of some sort. When I get to my desk, I sit, look at the cludder that the teacher has left for me that is supposed to be my lesson plan, and then accidentally spill my coffee everywhere. Not only do I have to work with disorganization... it's also coffee-soaked disorganization! Ugh.
I have 6th grade first. They weren't too bad. I was completely relieved. The worst they did was talk too much. But at least they followed simple instruction. I had a little break when they had to go to Spanish... so I had to haul ass to the copy room to make copies. Thanks Mrs. Story for the awesome preparations! Anyways, the actual work they had to do was quite easy... maybe too easy. I mean, I understand that when a sub comes in they don't expect me to teach Calculus or philosophize scriptures, etc. but I can do some things. I'm not just an idiot who can't think or solve simple 6th grade math.

Then came 8th grade. I stood by the door as they came in. I saw one of my extended care people...
"hey" she said. "you going to an interview after this?"
"no, I'm subbing you guys. So how's this class?"
"Everyone's bad! We're the worst kids!" she exclaimed.

UGH.

The kids actually weren't that bad in my opinion. Maybe its cause I went to a DISD public school. We were bad. These kids were just loud. I really didn't care. As long as they were pretending to do the assigned work and in their seats, I was okay with it all.
There was one kid in the class that was a problem, sort of... Daniel. He is one of those guys who thinks he's the shit or whatever. I know these kind of guys. I've been in school with them all. All talk.
Anyways, the teacher next door would periodically come in and check to see how I was doing... and he would always call on a few people to "stay in uniform" Since it was Spirit Day, I didn't see the point to it all, but oh well. I didn't care. And he would ask Daniel repeatedly to put on his tie (Since he wore his uniform, he had to wear it correctly). Oh man, this kid lied his ass off.
"The Principal said I would leave it off!" he whined.
"But the principal didn't tell me that" teacher said.
"Can I go and ask him?" he protested.
"No... sit."
After the teacher left, Daniel was determined to get his way no matter what. He walked out of class to the office.
"Hey! Whatcha doing?!" I said.

After he came back with the principal, him & the teacher started talking/arguing over the subject. Meanwhile, I was like whaaa?
The principal called me in.
"Daniel has to wear his tie. So go back to your sit and put on your tie"

When all the grownups leave, he's there complaining over his breath...
I tell him to sit.
He refuses.
I tell him again, in a more authoritative voice (hey, I do that sometimes!)
"I'm not comfortable that way" he replies.

I think at this point, I'm just tired or whatever of him so I just tell him that it's not important that he is comfortable.
Whoa... by the look of his face it looked like I just told him I killed his baby's momma or something. He gave me that "Oh my God! That statement was like in direct discourse with the idea that the world revolves around me" look.
These kids are all the time. so predictable. And this is the part where you try to play it off... check.. and you're done.

Lunchtime:
Ugh... so there's like 4 subs today. WHAT THE?! There's only like 9 teachers in this school in the first place. We have to control the lunch rush. It went okay, but I forgot to go to the ATM before I came so I had to settle for some milk and a small bag of chips I bought with the change that was in the bottom of my bag for lunch.

My last grade was 7th. And I was told during lunch that 7th was like the worst grade. UGH! Why couldn't I have 6th grade all day?! THis sucks.
I guess this grade was okay... but there were a few gifted students that were doing Algebra 1 unlike the rest of the class that there really roudy. They kept yelling over equations... EQUATIONS!! who does that!? Anyways, the ringleader of the group... Pacey was the troublemaker.
Before I sent the kids off to gym, I had to attempt to put them in a line. BAd idea. That Pacey kid was yelling with everyone. I put him outside the door so I could try and control the rest of the getalong gang. And I knew that the door had a window on it... and that Pacey was doing something while my back was turned... but I was hoping it was something insipid and therefore not be too inappropiate but no...
When I was dragging him to the office, I was like How I am supposed to explain what he was doing?... hmm... finding the right words.

Anyways, hilariously enough... I ran into the gym teacher... hehehe... he made them run the whole time... hehe. suckers!
When I went back to my room, there was some paper on my chair. It was a Bible verse... something about trusting students or something. I was like whaaa?! It was probably the principal.. so I wouldn't quit. But I'm not! I'm too awesome for that. Kids can't break me!

After the 7th grade came back, they were more docile... exhausted... I laughed at the mentally the rest of the period.

The last bell rung, I walked the kids for pickup, then sign the leftovers to aftercare and since I promised myself I wasn't going to work from 6:15am - 6:00pm... I got the hell outta there.

But... Jason did bring me Quizos... Yummmmm... best part of the day! Besides JR's bitchin' party later that night.
Wow... I was so busy that day. How did I get through it?!
craziness.



posted at 7:24 PM | 0 comments


Saturday, October 01, 2005

part deux

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CLICK HERE.



posted at 7:55 PM | 4 comments




=about me=

Welcome to Frank's blog-- egocentrically yours! I'm a college graduate from Dallas, Texas. Get some insight on frank. Learn the frank. Know the frank. Apply the frank to real-life situations. Praise the frank.


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