Monday, October 03, 2005

substitute teaching.

My First day of being a substitute teacher, by frank m


It was one of those normal early morning days, 6:15am. After another sleepless night, I stumbled out the door on my way to the Dart bus stop I take to work. Thinking about how fun and adventurous my first day of teaching will be. I was so excited and anxious at the same time. I mean, I know some of these kids already. Most of them have been to the afterschool/beforeschool thing I do anyways. This should be a breeze. Plus now, I'll have more authority and such.
I walked through the bird poop-filled sidewalk. Ugh, I can't stand this when it just rained the night before. It smells! But like going to the bus stop with the bright lights and people around... and not the one closes to be.. the one near the supposed crackhouse I live by. Bus comes on schedule. Good. I get on.
Just the normal crazies on the bus today. The smelly polo shirt guy at least has his zipper up today and didn't sit right next to me either. Goodtimes.
As I finally get to my work destination, I take a deep breath, straighten up my suit and tie, and unlock the door to the school I enter from. No ones here yet. Usually I come in on Mondays and Fridays to do the extended care thing for the early morning kids. Glad that the only thing I need to do is turn on lights in the cafeteria. Now to wait for the latchkey kids to come.
First kids come. They aren't wearing uniforms... interesting. They look at me crazy. Whats the deal, I say. They replied, it's spirit day... Tshirts and jeans! UGH! After that... a million kids come and ask me the same question "Are you going to a job interview?!"

Finally extended morning care is over. The boss said I could go to the parents meet-and-greet before my class started for some coffee and whatnot. I go. And Ms. A is there.
Now let me tell you something about her. She is mean... super mean...cruel even. And there she is.. being cheery! At first I don't say much, try not to make eye-contact. Perhaps it is a trick or some sort.
"HEY! FRANK!" she yells..in a welcoming way.
"huh... hi"
"Whatcha still doing here? Are you going to a job interview?" she says.
"huh.. no.. I'm subbing today for Mrs. Story"
"Isn't that the 6,7, & 8 Math/Religion teacher?" she questions.
"yeah... thats the one"
After that she sort of gives me a fake smile or something. I get nervous. Then she tells me Good Luck.

I'm on my way to my class... with coffee and a pastry of some sort. When I get to my desk, I sit, look at the cludder that the teacher has left for me that is supposed to be my lesson plan, and then accidentally spill my coffee everywhere. Not only do I have to work with disorganization... it's also coffee-soaked disorganization! Ugh.
I have 6th grade first. They weren't too bad. I was completely relieved. The worst they did was talk too much. But at least they followed simple instruction. I had a little break when they had to go to Spanish... so I had to haul ass to the copy room to make copies. Thanks Mrs. Story for the awesome preparations! Anyways, the actual work they had to do was quite easy... maybe too easy. I mean, I understand that when a sub comes in they don't expect me to teach Calculus or philosophize scriptures, etc. but I can do some things. I'm not just an idiot who can't think or solve simple 6th grade math.

Then came 8th grade. I stood by the door as they came in. I saw one of my extended care people...
"hey" she said. "you going to an interview after this?"
"no, I'm subbing you guys. So how's this class?"
"Everyone's bad! We're the worst kids!" she exclaimed.

UGH.

The kids actually weren't that bad in my opinion. Maybe its cause I went to a DISD public school. We were bad. These kids were just loud. I really didn't care. As long as they were pretending to do the assigned work and in their seats, I was okay with it all.
There was one kid in the class that was a problem, sort of... Daniel. He is one of those guys who thinks he's the shit or whatever. I know these kind of guys. I've been in school with them all. All talk.
Anyways, the teacher next door would periodically come in and check to see how I was doing... and he would always call on a few people to "stay in uniform" Since it was Spirit Day, I didn't see the point to it all, but oh well. I didn't care. And he would ask Daniel repeatedly to put on his tie (Since he wore his uniform, he had to wear it correctly). Oh man, this kid lied his ass off.
"The Principal said I would leave it off!" he whined.
"But the principal didn't tell me that" teacher said.
"Can I go and ask him?" he protested.
"No... sit."
After the teacher left, Daniel was determined to get his way no matter what. He walked out of class to the office.
"Hey! Whatcha doing?!" I said.

After he came back with the principal, him & the teacher started talking/arguing over the subject. Meanwhile, I was like whaaa?
The principal called me in.
"Daniel has to wear his tie. So go back to your sit and put on your tie"

When all the grownups leave, he's there complaining over his breath...
I tell him to sit.
He refuses.
I tell him again, in a more authoritative voice (hey, I do that sometimes!)
"I'm not comfortable that way" he replies.

I think at this point, I'm just tired or whatever of him so I just tell him that it's not important that he is comfortable.
Whoa... by the look of his face it looked like I just told him I killed his baby's momma or something. He gave me that "Oh my God! That statement was like in direct discourse with the idea that the world revolves around me" look.
These kids are all the time. so predictable. And this is the part where you try to play it off... check.. and you're done.

Lunchtime:
Ugh... so there's like 4 subs today. WHAT THE?! There's only like 9 teachers in this school in the first place. We have to control the lunch rush. It went okay, but I forgot to go to the ATM before I came so I had to settle for some milk and a small bag of chips I bought with the change that was in the bottom of my bag for lunch.

My last grade was 7th. And I was told during lunch that 7th was like the worst grade. UGH! Why couldn't I have 6th grade all day?! THis sucks.
I guess this grade was okay... but there were a few gifted students that were doing Algebra 1 unlike the rest of the class that there really roudy. They kept yelling over equations... EQUATIONS!! who does that!? Anyways, the ringleader of the group... Pacey was the troublemaker.
Before I sent the kids off to gym, I had to attempt to put them in a line. BAd idea. That Pacey kid was yelling with everyone. I put him outside the door so I could try and control the rest of the getalong gang. And I knew that the door had a window on it... and that Pacey was doing something while my back was turned... but I was hoping it was something insipid and therefore not be too inappropiate but no...
When I was dragging him to the office, I was like How I am supposed to explain what he was doing?... hmm... finding the right words.

Anyways, hilariously enough... I ran into the gym teacher... hehehe... he made them run the whole time... hehe. suckers!
When I went back to my room, there was some paper on my chair. It was a Bible verse... something about trusting students or something. I was like whaaa?! It was probably the principal.. so I wouldn't quit. But I'm not! I'm too awesome for that. Kids can't break me!

After the 7th grade came back, they were more docile... exhausted... I laughed at the mentally the rest of the period.

The last bell rung, I walked the kids for pickup, then sign the leftovers to aftercare and since I promised myself I wasn't going to work from 6:15am - 6:00pm... I got the hell outta there.

But... Jason did bring me Quizos... Yummmmm... best part of the day! Besides JR's bitchin' party later that night.
Wow... I was so busy that day. How did I get through it?!
craziness.

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