Saturday, September 30, 2006

thank you training videos

Guy walks in. He wants to return a CD. He has the receipt. The receipt is from Chicago and shows that he returned a previous item to buy the CD he is about to return. It shows he paid with a combination of store credit and cash. He wants cash back.

Not so unusual. Perhaps he's just cheap.

After managerial approval, the dubious cashier completes the return transaction. Then immeadiately afterwards, the guy pulls out three more returns each one with its own receipt just like the initial return.

The cashier thinks to himself, "You greedy bastard!"

He then calls the manager for every and any little thing fishy about the next transaction.

What? The CD wrapping is slighty torn?
Hey? This receipt looks odd?
Oh? You want Chicago tax too?
Jigga Who? You're wondering why I have to call the manager so many times?

After a while, the manager FINALLY gets what the young diligent cashier is nonverbally communicating to him.

The manager now takes charge. He tells the guy that we cannot complete his requested returns and asks him to leave.

The guy them prepares to have a temper tantrum, with first expressing that he is in fact going to have one if he does not get his way.

Temper Tantrum executed with the usual characteristics:
1) Loudness
2) Flailing of arms
3) Curses the "corporate machine"
4) Threads of calling police
5) Harsh words directed to manager (i.e. "you're an ugly person")
6) Make eye contact with as many customers as possible
7) Just as the manager calls the authorities, guy storms out.
8) He doesn't forget his CDs either.

People don't make this shit up!

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Friday, September 29, 2006

a price for everything

So the work posted a bulletin up stating that if anyone wanted extra hours (overtime included), they were available for us. All we had to do was RLP (basically pull items off the shelf). It sounded easy enough. And extra hours?! HELLS YEA!

The RPL was scheduled for Thursday night. I was already working 7 to close, so why not? I signed up. Store closed at 11ish and I started RPLing. They gave me the kids section. At first I thought, this couldn't be bad. I would just have to find Green Eggs & Ham or some junk like that. Everything is in it's place; alphabetized, catagorized and ready to be pulled.

Boy was I so wrong.

My first Kids subsection was Games. Ooh, I see the sign. How convenient. I'm so on top of this. The game section is like six shelves. I have about 30 items to pull just on these small six shelves. So easy. I look the the first item. The Author, Title, and BINC was listed. I pull random book just to see where the Cs were at... Hmmm, the book seems to be in the wrong section. KIDS GIFTS, it read. Well that's not right. Oh well. I pull the next book, and the author is Thomas. Ahem... T? That shouldn't be here either... So after a while I realized that I was going to have to search for each book/activity kit by browsing the whole section. It didn't help that the kid shelf are miniaturized for a child's conveniance. Damn kids... gotta be all short.

After an hour my back, my neck, my knees are all sore. UGH.

I'm searching through these obscure authors/publishing kid stuff. It's hard! I jump for joy when I see something that needs to be RPL'd from Disney or Batman cause it's something familiar that I probably can find easily.

Kakuro for Kids: The Ninja Edition
Pom Pom Pets
Doll Hair
Quilt your own patch!

Even those were some of the easy ones. I just hated the ones with titles that couldn't be properly deciphered like Amer Girl HT H'psc'th KT

Damn you abbreviations! Damn me for the one day I didn't bring my ipod!! That would of been helpful.

I did learn that time flies when you're frustrated looking for something called Paper Fun. Paper Fun?! What the hell can that mean?! Yes, it's in the Kids CRAFTS section. It costs 24.95 so it should be a big package, right?! Where are you?!! Screw that. It will be lost to the Kid Section forever.

I didn't finish. Not even close by the time the boss was all like "You guys still here? It's like 2:30." nonchalantly. Yeah, right.. she knew we were here slaving over misplaced books. I suggested that we just set fire to the entire Children's Section. Who would miss it? We don't even like kids at bookstores anyway! If you want a kid related item, go to Barnes & Noble for storytime.

We don't want you here!

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Monday, September 25, 2006

Comic

So I've decided that I am going to start up drawing comics again. For all of you people who don't know the joy that is my comics [aptly named The Wacky Adventures of Devon, Jason and Jim], it should be funtimes.

It's not going to be exactly what I did last time. Characters are different! There is revamping due to better technology and my drawing skills/patience/time/interest for it has shifted toward the positive realm. Keep in mind that the first couple of things are going to be crude and this whole blog is going to be changing along too.

New/slightly different layout.
New comics.
New wacky adventures.

Stay tuned kids.

[Disclaimer: The characters in my comics, although bear striking resemblances, are fictional. It's a fine line between referencing reality and fantasy. If you and/or someone you know is character'D or mentioned, just get over it. If I hate/hated you, expect it... these are my coping mechanisms. You don't like it? Go to hell]

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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

so routine

Wow, I'm so boring now.

Transaction #1294

[Guy walks up to me}
Guy: To answer your questions... YES, NO and NO!

[WTF?]

Frank:....

Guy: You know. The 3 things you're going to ask me.

Frank: So... how was your day, sir?

Guy: That's not what your supposed to ask me.

Frank: What am I supposed to say?

Guy: You're supposed to ask me if I found everything.

Frank: Seeing that you're going to buy obscure boating magazines, I'm sure you have all we have... you werido.

[Not exactly what I really said, but I was thinking it]

Frank: so... just curious... what are the other questions I was going to ask you o' wise one?

Guy: Then you were going to ask me if I had My Borders Reward Card... then if I wanted one.

[OMG, you're psychic! There are literally hundreds of specially marketed promotions of Borders Rewards all over the freakin' store! And you just knew I was going to ask you if you had the most visable item. Geez, do you tell the McDonalds people that you don't want fries with that too?]

Frank: uh huh.

Frank: Well, do you know all about our Corporate Group Plan? Let me just call our representative. She will tell you ALL about this program. It's super neat. This will just take a moment.

[I proceeded to ignore him for a while, then I actually called the rep. The whole transaction took at way longer than it should.]

Don't mess with Frank! He will mock you and call it apple sauce.

Transaction #3340

[Guy comes up to me. I know him. He comes here all the time. Always grumpy. Rude. And acts as if the whole world must revolve around him. He takes his sweet time, but when he's ready to go, it's time to go. The WORLD must cater to his "IgottaGO" mentality. Anyways, I hate him. Why must he come always when I'm working.]

Before I even get into my "Did you find everything" banter, he grabs his cell phone and wonders off. Like that's going to stop me. I just casually stand there, waiting for him to get off. Don't you hate it when people are on the phone?! Geez. If you don't like human interaction, go to Amazon!!
Anyways he finally realizes that his plan isn't working, so he goes up and says that he's ready.
ASS.
I start up. Damn him. Curses.
And just when I feel totally defeated, his cell rings.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I needed a good laugh. Do you think he hear me?

LESSON OF THE DAY: If you are going to shop at a huge corporation, expect some unwanted solicitations.

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

25 years

Somehow, turning 25 has become a huge milestone for me.

It's just like any other number right? It comes after 24, just before 26. What is the big deal about 25?

After all this time, I feel complete. My childhood, teen years, and college days are over. This is a starting point for me. I do not think the same as I once did; I do not feel the same as I once felt. I'm not longer that guy who tries to please the people around him. The guy who spent so much time on other people, that he sometimes ignored what he wanted. I am.

I know who I am; it is time to express it.

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Saturday, September 02, 2006

Another Gay Movie

Thanks to the renting smorgasbord plan we have from Blockbuster, Jason and I can indulge in ever guilty pleasure movie the place has to offer. Although Blockbuster doesn't offer actual pornographic material (you pervs!), it does offer a catagory of movies aptly named "Community Favorites." When you live in an area that was once deemed "the ghetto" and is now one of the trendiest places to be at, you can be assured that the Gays are involved. So Gay = Community.

So naturally, we are skilled in the art that is Gay-themed Movies. Who knew there was that many movies out there. I definitely didn't.

This brings me to my point. Another Gay Movie was released today, and I thought it would be fun to go. Going to see a gay movie in theaters? I know, it's madness! But I just got paid and needed something to do. Let me fill you in on Gay movie watching ettitquette at the theater. 1) Always go to a theater that only shows independent movies. Don't go to Lowes or AMC!! You're just asking for it. 2) No food allowed! Eating is unattractive. 3) If you look at someone for more than 2 seconds, you are legally obligated to have sex with him. (Okay, that's not true... for me, at least!) 4) Never go alone!! If you must, bring a random girl along. It's ironic, so you'll look intelligent. But not too smart to pretend you don't know it's irony.
So since it was mid-afternoon, I invited Becky. I don't know why I did. I guess I should of known better...

First of all, before I go into the 'Horrors of Watching a Gay Movie with Becky!' let me just tell you guys.... this movie ROCKED!!! The best comedic gay movie I've ever seen. Better than High School Musical, ya'll. Usually, gay movies are about "coming out" or "tackling societal issues" and all that boring overdone stuff. It's very odd that gay movies are basically all about these things. I never really realized it before. I can't think of a gay movie where the main character doesn't cry, doesn't get bullied, and/or doesn't comes to terms with himself. Even in the comedies. But this movie delivers everything (and I mean everything) that those gay sappy movies do not. This leads me to the reason I wrote this blog...

Horrors of Watching this Gay Movie with Becky!

• Only girl in the audience. We thought there was this old lady in the front row, but it turned out to be an old man with femininely-styled gray hair.

On super gay scenes, I had to tell Becky to cover her eyes.

• Luckily, I did cover her eyes. I had promised Becky that we would leave if it got too raunchy. hehe. There were 39 times when I thought Becky was going to say "See ya!"


• Signature Becky laugh (eg. BLAHHHHHHAHW!)

Everything aside, I have to give it up for Becky. She's lasted to the end. A weaker girl wouldn't of.

On a related note, we saw a trailer for Jesus Camp. Geez, this movie is going to give me nightmares!!

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