Monday, January 30, 2006

Supine

I'm sick again. Well... not that sick as of yet.

I'm having similar symptoms though. I guess the huge difference is that I'm having less problems with my ear, nose, and throat than before. But there was a day when I was like feverish. That day was Friday. Here is the conversation I had with my mom about it.

I called
Mom: Hello?
Frank: [mumbles in pain] Hey mom. It's me.
Mom: Oh hey, Frankie Bear! [*sidenote, if I hear that uttered by anyone, I will have my ghetto-thug cousins hunt you down.. esse!]
Mom: Are you okay? You sound really sick.
Frank: Yeah, I'm not feeling good. Can I come home?
Mom: uhhh, I have plans... but you can come tommorrow morning.

OOhhhhh!
rejected.
crap.

Later I was starting to feel abit better. I decided to go to work. Why not? I probably got it from them anyways... arg! So at work, I'm totally fine. I think to myself, wow... maybe it was just an 8-hour thing?

sweet.
score.

When I came back to the apartment, I was still feeling okay. Perhaps I just needed some enthusiasm and fresh air to cure my ailment.

Awesome.
Oh wow.
Like totally freak me out, I said right on.

I wasn't really hungry [oddly enough, I didn't remember eating anything all day] but I went with Roommate Jason(RJ) and Distant Friend Devon(DFD) to the usually fun restaurant, Cheddars. And it didn't really occur to me till the food arrived, that there was no way in hell I could eat it.

Whaa.
Shucks.

While in Cheddars, in the car, at Blockbuster, at the Grocery Store and at DFD's condo, I was like freaking out!

Cold.
I'm ice.

I still went to DFD's though... cause I'm in idiot! I figured that it was probably better to be sick around people I know, rather than RJ's sister who was at the apartment at the time. DFD said it was cool to bring my awesome comforter, which weights like 2 tons.

Optimistic.
Cautious.

I thought that make the old "enthusiasm/ fresh air" trick would work... damn you. I might as well should of took homoepathic meds. Stupid hippies. I survive, sort of, the evening. I decide to go straight to my room. I've already exposed RJ to my sickness enough. RJ has the tendency to go in and out of 'spells.' Yeah, RJ doesn't get sick, he has spells of utter incoherence.

Trippy.
Odd.

I'm in my room while it spins slowly. I don't remember which way it was moving, but it was definitely moving. The incessant soprano pitches of my computer were somehow keeping me grounded from the iteration. My mouth felt moist, and my lips were dry. "Where's that damn Carmax?!" I thought. Even thought I could feel my own body and limps moving fluidly, I still saw my movements as if they were a bad clay-mation movie made by an 8 year old.
I swallow. It was like my mind when to another plane; another time where all of my pains and insecurities of my life resurfaced and attack me.

Shit.
Crap.

Somehow, after many cycles of this, it's morning. I can sleep now. The pain and delusions are gone for now. But just in case, I wrap 3 towels around my pillow [my awesome pillow that came with my awesome comforter!] because I taught myself to involuntarily drool while keeping my mouth relatively shut from air getting inside it so that I wouldn't have to swallow so much.

Gross.
Disgusting.

As I woke up in increments of 5 minutes complete with seemingly lengthy dreams, I put on a Will & Grace Dvd... Play All mode. This was my best bet for establishing the concept of time and having something soothing and familiar sounding in my mind.

Peace.
Serenity.

Went to my mom's house. I was already feeling 40% better. I was happy. I even played with the once-adorable-now-vicious family poodle, Falcor. We rented movies. I actually sat down and watched "Wedding Crashers" and like it. There were many things that were off about me still. I wasn't hungry. Nor could I even enjoy one of my favorite things: Goya Nectar & Juice Drinks. Those are always the bomb! They take me back to my childhood, when me and my friends would walk 4 blocks (which seem like a mile to a 6 year old) to buy those at a small grocery store that sells long distance cards, elotes, and has loud unrecognizable music with a heavy bass beat and an occasional sad hispanic woman screeching about her lost love or something.
My mom made caldo de camarón for dinner... had two bites.
We went to my favorite Mexican restaurant for breakfast, and I ordered Menudo... managed to sip a few homony with juice.
When back to the apartment, ordered pizza... it was like eating tomato sauce on an unsalted cracker.

I am able to swallow without freaking out now, but things still are a bit off. Becky and the Erich joined us for the pizza and she ended up saying "Why can't she just use her cans to buy a penis?!" While she put a couch pillow to her head as if it was going to defend her from the verbal mobbing we were about to give her, I didn't say much...

Surreal.
Dull.

I usually would at least give her a "Poor, poor becky!" rant, which are classic! I didn't though. TV is relaxing though.

I can sell my muffins.
Sandra Oh meltdowns.

Tired. Mindful.
Frustrated. Euphoric.

This weekend really sucked. And this is a hella long useless post. It's passed 3am. I have to be at work at 6am. Seeking professional help eventually. But for now, WHERE THE HELL IS MY FREAKIN' TEA?!

blinks.
publishes post.
end.

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Sunday, January 22, 2006

Melange

Trying to insert different and innovative factors into my life to break my incessant slump. Breaking away from the person I believe am to find out more about myself. Going where no Frank has ever gone before...

Able to jump tall buildings in a single... yeah whatever.

I'm trying new things, end post. And not those cheesy things like planting a tree, excerising or whatever. Cool stuff! I haven't decided what 'cool stuff,' but I'll figure out something!

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Thursday, January 19, 2006

Languor

ugh.

The routine has me. If I do one thing out of the ordinary of my repetitive day, I just start to spin out of control. What gives?

There's a new guy at work. He started yesterday, and I find that we are all doing more work to try and facilitate his smooth transition working with us. It is totally screwing with me. If I'm not at work, I'm bored or tired.
The magic of the internet, cable or the unlimited monthly Blockbuster rentals isn't working to fill the void as it once did. Caffeine isn't my BFF anymore. It used to be awesomness. Now it just proves a quick spurt of energy for awhile, then it dies down and I'm left with just blahness. And yes, that's my new word, "blahness"... I can add that suffix to any word I want!

Words and I are like that!

Like that!!

Well, if you could see me you would see me doing the finger motion for that expression.

Meh, I just need to break my routine more. The days are going like hours. I had a odd day at work today. I had to run around with 4 year olds for like 2 hours. Now I know what you're thinking. If they can do it, why can't you do it too. But it's harder more be. I have so many other things going against me. First of all there's the age thing. Living with Roommate Jason (yeah, what was the deal with Jason calling me 'Roommate Frank' a bunch in his last post? As if someone doesn't know who I am?! WHATEVA!) is hard. He makes me act older.

--------------------
whoa! I just had an odd flash forward moment. It was like that episode of Will & Grace where they get a new huge apartment, and they are arguing who should come all the way aross the place to talk to eachother.
Because that totally happened the other day! You would be surprised who "out of the way" my room is compared to everywhere else in the apartment.
--------------------

Anyways, yeah. You're as young as you feel. And Jason is a downer when it comes to realisic age stuff. I'll have to slap him upside the head a few times or something. Snap him out of it.

Jason's like the much older annoying brother that I never had. I just had the 'younger, forever-troubled teen' one. Yeah, he's 22 and still a troubled teen, but that's whole other post!

Ugh... work is like 3 hours away.
What do I do when the usual stuff (i.e. Caffeine, food, TV) doesn't fill the void anymore?

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Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Electronics hate me.

Well apparently almost every piece of electronic technology I own is malfunctioning nowadays. It's getting annoying. My computer is forever doing what I call "hiccups." And for some odd reason, I'm getting these odd text messeges on my cell everyday. Here are just some of the messeges I've recieved so far.

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• "Mummy, Mummy I cant stop running around in circles!.... Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."


• "I miss you... I miss you... I miss you... I miss you.. I've got really bad aim!"

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I'm so confused. Either someone has nothing better to do than to freak me out, or someone put me on a prank text messenging system or whatever. If they exist at all. If anyone can help me out with either of these problems, I'd appriciate it. The only piece of machinery that is always awesome is my precious ipod shuffle!
I figured out that I take alot of things for granted, and the main one is my dependancy on these machines.

I remember back in 5th grade, my sassy Science teacher had a lesson about machines. I called her sassy in retrospect, but back then I just thought she was a huge bitch. She would assign random stupid homework like watch the news and write the weather and dew points down for each day... who does that?! We didn't even talk about why we did it. It was just homework. And most people fudged their highs and lows. Hey, who wants to watch the weather news everyday? I had things to do like watch Saved by the Bell, James Bond Jr and the Fresh Prince of Belaire. That show were Ashley gets a record deal... come on.. that was great!
Anyways, where the hell was I? Oh, that science teacher. She was a huge blowhard. One day, a washed up rapper came to our school to talk about whatever.. I don't know.. don't do drugs.. getting a real job. And basically made a pass at her in front of the whole grade. It was something along the lines of "They didn't make teachers like you when I was in gradeschool" or whatever. Afterwards she was all bragging and such. What a bitch. As if she head wasn't already about to explode.
So one day she was teaching about machines. You know.. pulleys, see-saws and crap. She asked us what was our definition of a machine. And there were the usual idiot answers like "something made of metal" and "something digital." I don't remember what I thought a machine was, but I'm sure it was something equally stupid.
We learned that a machine is something that makes a job or work easier. Well.. the arrogant hose-beast was right. Damn her.

What was my point to all this? Something about machines helping you. And the machines I having are actually making the work harder... meh. I really need to organize my thoughts better. Perhaps by making an outline of the post or something. Sounds way too complicated for blogging.

Well, I guess you guys are just going to have to accept my jumble of thoughts and put them together in a significant way by yourselves, because putting sentences together is just not my forte.

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Sunday, January 08, 2006

What's Frank up to?

It's the question on everyone's mine.

I know! I know! It seems like ages since I've blogged. Well, I've been busy! I do have a few things I like to comment about to you guys.

• My hobby of photoshopping is back. So I reinstalled Photoshop CS on my computer.


• Oh man, this computer sucks... but I'm not buying another one till this one completely goes to hell. Don't get any ideas, kids!! A new computer will not complete me. This one is adequate. Works fine when I don't turn it off (that's right. I don't turn off my computer for anything. Whaa? I have to restart the computer to properly install some program?.. yea, whateva!!) and when I don't play The Sims. ugh.


• Back to Photoshop. So I was doing my normal thing I do to practice photoshop. I do me. and PS, taking lots and lots of crazy-faced head shots of yourself is sooo underrated. Anyways, I did one with me and my new cell. One with me being all awesome. And another with a Fun Straw Becky gave me. Now... pay attention to that straw. Why would they design a straw like that? I'm like violating Spiderman! I honestly didn't noticed till someone pointed it out to me.
  "Hey Frank! Why are you giving Spiderman a rim job?!"
  
  ahhh, man! Becky is sooo perverted! I know she's an accountant now or something, so she has to get her "kicks" somewhere... but dang! That's just wrong Becky... bad Becky!


• Ahhh! Frank has a cell phone! I'm like so hip now! Call me, hoes! I have free texting too! But no calling cept nights and weekends! I can't have you people stealing my minutes!!


• Saw Match Point today. It's was okay, I guess... ANYWAYS! I saw a trailer to a new movie... DREAMGIRLS!!
  
• What is the one thing a movie can do to destroy itself before it even has a trailer with actual movie clips in it?...
  
  Say that it stars Beyonce!!
  
  Serious Beyonce... if you fug up this movie with your booty-shaking, hair-flipping, arpeggio-crazed self, I will have to destroy you!

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