Monday, January 30, 2006

Supine

I'm sick again. Well... not that sick as of yet.

I'm having similar symptoms though. I guess the huge difference is that I'm having less problems with my ear, nose, and throat than before. But there was a day when I was like feverish. That day was Friday. Here is the conversation I had with my mom about it.

I called
Mom: Hello?
Frank: [mumbles in pain] Hey mom. It's me.
Mom: Oh hey, Frankie Bear! [*sidenote, if I hear that uttered by anyone, I will have my ghetto-thug cousins hunt you down.. esse!]
Mom: Are you okay? You sound really sick.
Frank: Yeah, I'm not feeling good. Can I come home?
Mom: uhhh, I have plans... but you can come tommorrow morning.

OOhhhhh!
rejected.
crap.

Later I was starting to feel abit better. I decided to go to work. Why not? I probably got it from them anyways... arg! So at work, I'm totally fine. I think to myself, wow... maybe it was just an 8-hour thing?

sweet.
score.

When I came back to the apartment, I was still feeling okay. Perhaps I just needed some enthusiasm and fresh air to cure my ailment.

Awesome.
Oh wow.
Like totally freak me out, I said right on.

I wasn't really hungry [oddly enough, I didn't remember eating anything all day] but I went with Roommate Jason(RJ) and Distant Friend Devon(DFD) to the usually fun restaurant, Cheddars. And it didn't really occur to me till the food arrived, that there was no way in hell I could eat it.

Whaa.
Shucks.

While in Cheddars, in the car, at Blockbuster, at the Grocery Store and at DFD's condo, I was like freaking out!

Cold.
I'm ice.

I still went to DFD's though... cause I'm in idiot! I figured that it was probably better to be sick around people I know, rather than RJ's sister who was at the apartment at the time. DFD said it was cool to bring my awesome comforter, which weights like 2 tons.

Optimistic.
Cautious.

I thought that make the old "enthusiasm/ fresh air" trick would work... damn you. I might as well should of took homoepathic meds. Stupid hippies. I survive, sort of, the evening. I decide to go straight to my room. I've already exposed RJ to my sickness enough. RJ has the tendency to go in and out of 'spells.' Yeah, RJ doesn't get sick, he has spells of utter incoherence.

Trippy.
Odd.

I'm in my room while it spins slowly. I don't remember which way it was moving, but it was definitely moving. The incessant soprano pitches of my computer were somehow keeping me grounded from the iteration. My mouth felt moist, and my lips were dry. "Where's that damn Carmax?!" I thought. Even thought I could feel my own body and limps moving fluidly, I still saw my movements as if they were a bad clay-mation movie made by an 8 year old.
I swallow. It was like my mind when to another plane; another time where all of my pains and insecurities of my life resurfaced and attack me.

Shit.
Crap.

Somehow, after many cycles of this, it's morning. I can sleep now. The pain and delusions are gone for now. But just in case, I wrap 3 towels around my pillow [my awesome pillow that came with my awesome comforter!] because I taught myself to involuntarily drool while keeping my mouth relatively shut from air getting inside it so that I wouldn't have to swallow so much.

Gross.
Disgusting.

As I woke up in increments of 5 minutes complete with seemingly lengthy dreams, I put on a Will & Grace Dvd... Play All mode. This was my best bet for establishing the concept of time and having something soothing and familiar sounding in my mind.

Peace.
Serenity.

Went to my mom's house. I was already feeling 40% better. I was happy. I even played with the once-adorable-now-vicious family poodle, Falcor. We rented movies. I actually sat down and watched "Wedding Crashers" and like it. There were many things that were off about me still. I wasn't hungry. Nor could I even enjoy one of my favorite things: Goya Nectar & Juice Drinks. Those are always the bomb! They take me back to my childhood, when me and my friends would walk 4 blocks (which seem like a mile to a 6 year old) to buy those at a small grocery store that sells long distance cards, elotes, and has loud unrecognizable music with a heavy bass beat and an occasional sad hispanic woman screeching about her lost love or something.
My mom made caldo de camarón for dinner... had two bites.
We went to my favorite Mexican restaurant for breakfast, and I ordered Menudo... managed to sip a few homony with juice.
When back to the apartment, ordered pizza... it was like eating tomato sauce on an unsalted cracker.

I am able to swallow without freaking out now, but things still are a bit off. Becky and the Erich joined us for the pizza and she ended up saying "Why can't she just use her cans to buy a penis?!" While she put a couch pillow to her head as if it was going to defend her from the verbal mobbing we were about to give her, I didn't say much...

Surreal.
Dull.

I usually would at least give her a "Poor, poor becky!" rant, which are classic! I didn't though. TV is relaxing though.

I can sell my muffins.
Sandra Oh meltdowns.

Tired. Mindful.
Frustrated. Euphoric.

This weekend really sucked. And this is a hella long useless post. It's passed 3am. I have to be at work at 6am. Seeking professional help eventually. But for now, WHERE THE HELL IS MY FREAKIN' TEA?!

blinks.
publishes post.
end.

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