Wednesday, December 07, 2005

kid Logic

Some of you people still don't believe by kid Logic theory. Well, here's some real-life black and white examples! Oh yeah!

Tiny Kid Logic
[Tiny kids ask my "Lazy&Incompetent" CoWorker if they could take off their shoes in the gym. She says yes. Later they start running around.]
ME: Hey! Shoes on when you're running!!
TinyKid: She told us we could.
ME: You are running now... it's dangerous to wear no shoes.
[After a second or two, another child slips and falls. Then comes to me crying]
ME: You see? It's not safe.
TinyKid: Oh.
[She runs anyway. I get up and start walking towards her. She tries to run away from me, but she slips. I laugh a little inside.]

2-4th grade Logic
[I am the sub teacher. Kids are being disruptive in class]
ME: Hey listen up, class! Your teacher didn't leave me a lesson plan to follow or anything. We could just do nothing all day OR I can make up some classwork we can work on.
[silence for a minute]
[then proceeded to jump through my hoops for the rest of the day]

Teen Kid Logic
[Kids are talking at one table during afterschool program. None are being disruptive, but one kid blurts out a profanity. I walk over to the area]
ME: Curse words aren't for school.
Kid: I didn't say anything! I said "freaking!"
ME: I'm going by what I heard. Consider this a warning.
[A few minutes later, another obsenity was uttered by the same kid.]
ME: Come over here, Kid.
[when he doesn't, I walk over to him. (Hey, I would of done this in privacy away from his friends. But apparently, he wants an audience.)]
ME: What did I tell you about saying those kinds of words?
Kid: I said "itch!"
[hmmm... I have a mental breakdown, but cleverly hide it with a smirk]
ME: Let's go to timeout.
[He prepares to do the "Whys?!" and "How Longs" and I tell him that he'll stay in there as long as it takes him to learn how to follow simple instructions]

dude, seriously. What is the deal with those little people. I suppose it's a living.

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