Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Alcoholic Days (re: daze)

Geez, no wonder my favorite drink of Diet Coke and everclear knocks me on my ass!

Next time, I'll just take shots. I should be safe then.

The roommate Jason and I had a martini excursion on Friday. The Devon was at camp (lame) and we needed something to do and the Oak Lawn Goody-Goody is on the way to Blockbuster. [By the way, this was the first time I didn't get carded in a liquor store! Except for that time I went to the Greenville Goody-Goody like 5 times in one weekend... they know me there] Anyways, we experimented with all different kinds of martinis:

Vodka Martini: 3-part vodka, 1-part vermouth, olive. Very alcoholic. It took me like an hour to finish one!
Dirty Martini: 2-part vodka, 2-part mix. Oh man!! Never again! Perhaps it was cause we used a mix for it, but seriously! How do people drink this?! It's like drinking ocean water!!
Chocolate Martini: 2-part vodka, 2-part mix. HEAVEN! If you like chocolate milk and like getting drunk... Goodness, this is the drink for you.

We had Gin too, but after all the vodka excitement I decided to not try any Gin-induced martinis. So I just had a few Gin and Capri-Suns. hehe. Tastey.

I think we'll have another grand alcoholic-themed soiree, except with people this time. I felt like an alcoholic even though it was technically Memorial Day weekend.

And little tip: Never drink and watch Hostel. Inappropriate.

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Monday, May 29, 2006

Frank featured on PerezHilton.com

Oh man!

Remember when I sent my entry in on December 27, 2005 to PerezHilton.com for a Photoshop Madhouse contest and now today, it's finally featured!! In the entry I manipulated a pic of Donatella Versace, Beyonce, and Mariah Carey into a spoof on The movie, The Dark Crystal. Very hilarious.


And I'm the second entry too! Jason said I was "internet-famous!"

sweet.

Check it out! I'm that Frank M!

PerezHilton.com is my favorite guilty pleasure celebrity gossip weblog! I'm so excited.

Don't you wish you were featured on a famous blog?! First step, the internets... Next step, the WORLD! muhahaha!

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Saturday, May 27, 2006

new banner

yay or nay

Do you guys like the new banner? I think it's kinda too light, but I guess I can redo the blog lighter. meh. I kinda like it though.

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Shiny Objects of Distraction!

I refuse to talk about American Idol today. Ugh. Instead I'll distract myself with this:



Oh man! It's a spin off!
Katharine VERSUS Elvira!



Spin like your life depends on it!!

[Man, animation rules]

Five points to the first person who can tell what Elvira is saying in this animation I made.

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Saturday, May 20, 2006

The Sims 2

So as you kids know, Frank bought the Sims 2!! I am so excited. And of course the roommate Jason had to get it too.

I thought it would be fun to update you guys on the various Sim family scenerios that I create. I'll try to do this like weekly with pictures and whatnot. Not this week though... teehee.

The game is very interesting and alot more intricate than its initial version. There's more options with lineage, goal aspirations, fears and such. It makes the game 10 times as addicting. And of course there's still a money cheat [thank God] cause seriously, I have never played a Sim game without one. So I've made a few families so far, just to fill the neighorhood up a bit.

I've made a family with some American Idol people in it. And naturally Ryan Seacrest is the effeminate Dad figure. Chris Daughtry is the slacker-drunkard uncle. Katharine McPhee and Paris Bennett are the sassy dressed teenagers. It's a family of love and wacky hijinks!

Another family is the Longoria Family. I wanted to have a family that was simple enough for me to practice with. I was so overwhelmed at first with the Sims2. So I just made Eva Longoria and a daughter Katharine McPhee [yeah, I'm obsessed]. So far Eva Longoria is falling in love with a gay character from another family I made. She's so scandalous! And Kat is having trouble with finishing her homework on time for school. I don't think Kat and school mix... especially since her main aspiration is to be popular!! So not only is Kat probably failing, when I invited her headmaster over for dinner to smooze he threw up after he ate some of Eva Longoria's cooking! I don't think this family is going to turn out well.

My last family I made is a little more advanced than the others. It's two married guys with a daugther. Tom, Chris and Adriana make up the Welling Family! [As pictured above] If you didn't guess, they are actual people. Tom Welling, Chris Evans - Welling [teehee] and Adriana [Lima] Welling. This family actually works well together. Tom's aspirations are for family. Chris is romance. So all I have to do is have Tom take care of Adriana and while she's sleeping have the sex with Chris Evans. It's a family system that works. Recently Adriana metamorphisized from a SimBaby to a SimKid!! Congrats to her!

This game is consuming my whole life. I love it. Who wants to go outside into civilization anyways? It's hot outside!! Whateva!

[more pics on next update]

Oh man, when I get really good at this game I'm gonna make the Sims from the HBO TV show, Big Love!! Polygamy and all!

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Thursday, May 18, 2006

Idol results - May 17, 2006

Oh shit, Katharine McPhee is in the finale!

Talk about being the underdog of all underdogs.
Break a leg, McPheever!

In the meantime... I just bought the Sims 2. I just thought I would try and fill my time now that Jason is back with the War of Warcraft game. He and the nerd squad have started a 'guild' of Mustang bandspeople. So I have my game and he has his. If you thought we didn't have lives before, you've been sadly mistaken.

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Monday, May 15, 2006

distractions

As a distraction from my insanity (long story short: lost the summer job I was going to get... those bastards!) I've taken up my photoshop addiction right where I left off.

I'm practicing my retouching skillz. For this particlar project, I used a pic of my sis cause she's easier than trying to retouch up someone ugly. I'm very detail oriented, so if I tried to explain everything I did it would just blow your mind. So here's the side by side comparison.



If I majored in Graphic Art, I wouldn't have to worry about some crappy summer job! Well I wouldn't be worried, BUT I wouldn't have a social life....

so... yeah.

When I showed my sis what I did her first words were "Damn! My nose is huge!! Couldn't you have done something to shrink it or something?!"

and replied "If I could do that, I would be the Mariah Carey's personal graphic artist, make her look like the SHIT, and be totally rich!!"

"Are you equating my witch-nose with Moo-riah's jelly rolls?!" she asked.

"no... umm, your nose isn't witch-like... that's just the angle you took the picture."

"nice save." she said.

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Friday, May 12, 2006

hair dilemma

Yeah, so the hair drama continues...

To cut or not to cut? That is the question.


It's getting to the length where it has the potiential to look awesome as shown above. All I have to do to achieve this is take an hour or so out of my day. I have to wash it, dry it, wax it, comb it and shake it. The end result is pretty sweet, but is it worth it?

Yeah it's worth having incredible hair when I go out and such, but for everyday life is really blows. I have taken up the habit of wearing a hat to work. A small child asks me "Why do you have hair poking out the sides of your hat?" and I would reply "It was either this or comb it" Then the tiny kid makes a wtf?! face.

Anyways another bad thing about it is that sometimes when not strategically placed, my hair can poke me right in the eye. It smarts!

But then again, my hair is starting to get that sassy flip at the end.

My hair is feeling like it's own seperate entity. I go somewhere, the hair goes the other way. I have to make sure that the hair hasn't gone astray.

So I don't know what to do. I really like my hair now. It's has personality. I guess I can have it trimmed alittle. It is out of control... the least I can do is tame the personality a bit.

Ugh, there's so much of it!!

And I feel like a chick, when I have to fix it up.

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Idol results - May 10, 2006

WOW
Well, I guess that is our shocker elimination for American Idol. Katharine McPhee is safe for another week and Chris Daughtry is gone!

I'm freaking out. All Hail the McPheever! There are officially no more attractive people other than McPhee.

Drinks all around!

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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

McVote!

Crap, I really hope Katharine McPhee doesn't get voted off tommorrow.

I'm in McLove with her McVoice and the McHair! She has really McStar McQuality. Not to mention she has the McEnergy to do McEverything. So let's McHear it for the true McIdol of this McCompetition, McKatharine. The McPheever will always McBe within all of us.

Now how is that for McPimpin'?

So this weekend I'll either drink for the loss of Katharine from Idol or drink in celebration of the McPhev continuing in the competition. Either way, I'll be drunk.

And Oh man! Did you see Desperate Housewives on Sunday! Seriously, that show is really starting to be awesome again. There's only 2 episodes left in the season though. And my favorite evil gay character Andrew (played by Shawn Pyfrom) is out on his own in the streets! His mom kicked him out!! Bree went too far. I mean come on! She bought home a recovering alcoholic and sex-fiend and DIDN'T expect shocking results?! HELLO! I think Bree is just jealous that he refused sex with her, but when it came to her underaged gay son... oh yea, he couldn't resist!

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Sunday, May 07, 2006

In da Club

So it was Cinco De Mayo and there I was chillin' in the apartment with no further plans than just sitting in my chair, downloading junk of the internets, and watching the 3rd season of The Simple Life where Paris and Nicole are interns. [I have never heard the phrases "That's hot" and "Do you love it?!" so many times in my life!]
Then I get a call from a few friends. They wanted me to go out with them. After contemplating for 3 seconds thinking "I can go out with them OR wait here till Jason and his "date" come back, forcing me to find something loud and distracting enough to mask the sounds of inappropriateness that might occur. So I guess that decision was easy.
Anyways, I'm going out clubbing with these guys, and it doesn't settle into my mind that I'm actually doing it till I'm in the car.

Oh shit! I'm going out. Frank doesn't do out anymore! He stays indoors.. and if he does go out, it is usually with the Jason/Devon safety net. Here I am, going out into the unknown with people that I don't normally go out with. Not only that... I'm going to a gay club. A GAY CLUB! Can you believe it?! I haven't been to a gay club in over a year. What the hell am I doing?!

The first stop was a hispanic bar on Maple Ave called Kaliente. [Yes, with a 'K'] I figured since it is Cinco De Mayo, it would be kinda neat. It's packed. And I mean super packed, and I don't know if you guys know but a packed gay club is like double the awkwardness. We are pushing through the hundreds of hispanic gay people to a remotely uncrowded spot. Somewhere I would at least be sure if someone gropes me. It's surprisingly hard to tell in a packed place if a person is either grabbing you or just passing by.
I am blinded by the lights and the blasting Tejano music is seriously hearing my ears. I decide not to be a bad guest and not bitch about it. Besides, it wouldn't be a too different situation if I was at home with my ipod shuffle at full volume and the radiation waves from my laptop. At least here I won't see anything I didn't wanna see... strike that... it IS exactly the same.
At first there was an act with a couple dancing mexican folklorico, and yes, one was a drag queen--at least I think. Then after they finished it became a dance floor for the extremely gay. And the platform and pole in the middle of the room was for the SUPER GAY people. And I know it sounds stereotypical, but everyone reminded me of one of my cousins. Seriously, hispanics generally have the same haircut and facial hair. I freaked out like 5 times.

When we finally decided to leave, I was surprised to find out that we weren't actually done for the night. There was another club that we were to go to. This one was called TMC- an abbreievation for something. This one was a little more of a typical gay club. There was people making out against the wall and body builders with no shirts on.
As we walked by this huge black guy, someone told me that it was a TV anchor from Channel 5. Okay, it is obviously the place to be.
At one point I had to use the restroom. Now... I've been to gay clubs and I am fully aware of the things that can happen in those restrooms, but I really had to go. So I walked in and I immeadeatly saw two guys using one urinal. Okay... there wasn't a shortage of urinials.. but I decided to ignore the fact. And now, I've decided that they were doing someone inappropriate... I don't want to know what... but I just acknowledged that there was something going on.
I don't know why, but I decided to dance at this club. Now... I don't know if it was just the fact that I was not drinking, not entertaining people by being an ass, nor trying to be sexy as usual... but when did I start not knowing how to dance?! I used to own the art of dance. What the hell happened to me? Why am I doing this stupidly goofy straight white boy dance?! Is this what I've become? Has dating girls turned me into something less than Frank? I can't move to the beat to save my life. I'm robotic. Perhaps all those Catholics I work with have took my rhythm? I am freaking out.
I'm 24. I'm not the person I used to be when I was 19. Changing is good, but a complete transformation isn't what I thought I would do. Is this all in my head or am I really a totally different person? I'm not saying that gay clubs are 100% me, but I wasn't always so awkwardly 'out of place' in them. Perhaps all I need is to be a little drunk to see things differently. I shall make it a goal of mine. It's a scientific experiment of sorts. So next time you see Frank completely smashed at a club saying "This is for science!!" then taking a shot of something that can only resemble Tequila...

Don't be alarmed, I know what I'm doing.

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Thursday, May 04, 2006

Idol results - May 3, 2006

And to no one's surprise, Paris Bennett, the 17 year old jazzy with the famous grandmother idol contestant, is voted out. Why are we not feelin' the Paris? I mean, she does have an amazing set of pipes on her. She's not arrogant or anything like that. So if it's not her personality and not her singing ability, what is it that America doesn't like about Paris?

Well, I'll let you folks in on why, but it's not pretty. You may be shocked and appauled on the obviousness, yet superficial reason why we all don't like Paris....

Umm, how can I articulate this in a good way?... Although she does have an awesome voice, I mean I don't think anyone has ever meant the popular saying "I can't believe that big voice came out of such a small cutesy-voiced body!" seriously until Paris came along. So that's good, right? Anyways, she sucks at dressing herself.

Observe.

Night after night of bad fashion crimes. Makes you wanna gouge your eyes out, right? And I don't think people like doing that all the time. We needed a break from Paris. Perhaps when she has her own stylist [preferably not one chosen by her], she'll be more appealing.
Now I know what some of you people are saying... "WAIT! In one of those pictures Paris is wearing a very similar yellow dress that Katharine wore... and everyone LOVED that dress. So why are you hating on Paris when she wears it."

So it comes to this. The battle of the yellow dresses is on! Katharine versus Paris!
dun, dun, dunnnn!


Well maybe it's not that dramatic. You can easily see why Katharine wins hands down. Any article of clothing that can show off your ability to hold a mic stand upright with your powerful boobs is awesome by definition.

hehe, look Ma.. no hands!

and that is why Katharine rules.

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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

the good, the bad and the diva-esque

Oh man, American Idol was very "ooh" and "ahh" and "what the hell?!!" tonight. I'll do a review later, I just have to pimp my girl, Katharine McPhee.


There were 2 songs tonight. Extra drama, I'd say was added to the mix. Is Fox trying to kill us Idol fanatics?! One song was from the year that they were born, and the other was from the Billboard Top 10.

And of course all the spoilers on the internets were right. Geez, it's not even a mystery anymore by the time Tuesday comes by. The McPheever sang Against All Odds and Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.

When I learned that Katharine had to sing a song from her birth year, I was like "I reeeeallly hope she doesn't do Against all Odds... but what happened? She does it!!
Ugh! It's so predictable! Anyways, naturally Katharine stunk up the place with her rendition of the song. I felt sad. How will she ever redeem herself?

Then she sings Black Horse and the Cherry Tree!! The song already has an awesome beat... then you add Katharine's sexy sultry voice to that mix... WOOT! She was on fire. She was on her knees [ahem] without shoes on and gyrating [gulp!] around. She managed to out sex it from last week! I totally thought there was going to be a chain with a bucket of water attached for Kat to spill water all over herself with. [had a Flash Dance moment there][double gulp]
Anywho so even though she sucked it up [as we all knew she would] on Against All Odds, she pulled another great performance out of thin air for her second song. I really hope she makes it through. It's all up in the air now. Who am I going to root for if she gets the boot? Save her McPheever patients!

PS. Oh man, did anyone see Paris Bennett that night? She was wearing an army shirt, metallic pants with a bright red belt!! She needs to be shot. Perhaps she making a political statement? Paris is FOR SENDING OUR TROOPS TO SPACE!

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Catholic School Stories

Yellow Butter

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread
Spread it thick
Say it quick

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread
Spread it thicker
Say it quicker

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread
Now repeat it
while you eat it

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread
Don't talk
with your mouth full!

So yeah, it wouldn't be school without the traumatizing talent show! Yes, that's right boys and girls. And naturally it wouldn't be a real talent show without involuntary skits performed by various grades.

Poor kids.

I mean, I understand having the kindergarden class get up there and make complete fools of themselves. They are young and can repress the memory eventually, but having the 2nd graders perform the Yellow Butter poem as a class is horrific! seriously, they should protest or something. I can imagine them standing outside the school with signs and T shirts. But it is a Catholic school and they might be mistaken for those pro-Immigration people. I would hate the see the police throw that first can of tear gas at them. [happy imagery]

Anyways, yea. The talent show is Wednesday. I actually might go. MAYBE. America's Next Top Model is on Wednesdays!! And this week Daniella gets hospitalized for something. Probably for anorexia or something... yeah, they ARE models right? So it's a toss up.

Oh man, there's a 4th grader singing Kelly Clarkson's Behind These Hazel Eyes... whoa. And I hate her too... Man, I have stuff to think about.

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